Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Haiku: Silence of The Heart

Silence of The Heart

Made you walk away

You had nothing left to say

There is no halfway

Remorseful is me

Everything I couldn’t be

Wishing you would see

Don’t want you to leave

My heart is out on my sleeve

Want you to believe

No words will come out

My love for you please don’t doubt

Yours without a doubt

Inspired by the prompt at

Thursday, October 8, 2015

I Aspire to be Pegasus

There is always room for improvement in anyone’s life and mine is no different. I have and will continue to work toward a better me. With effort and time, I know that one day I will be flying high as the stars with all the wisdom and respect that Pegasus has. This is why I aspire to be Pegasus, the flying horse from Greek Mythology.

According to Greek Mythology, as an immortal hero, Pegasus was accepted into heaven to reside in Zeus’ stables.  But how was Pegasus able to be allowed into Heaven and why did Zeus take a liking to Pegasus?

Being able to fly gave Pegasus the freedom and ability to soar to new heights and all the way to Zeus. Pegasus has been known as a symbol of wisdom and because of his wisdom he was given the task of carrying Zeus' lightning bolts. Not only is Pegasus wise, but he is also loyal and faithful and because of his service to Zeus, Pegasus was honored with transformation into a constellation. Pegasus is placed among the stars and has been shown a great deal of respect by many societies in different histories as well as presently. 

Although Pegasus is a mythological creature, the ideals behind his behavior are very real. I wish to emulate the values and behaviors of Pegasus. I am loyal and I am faithful, but I want to be wiser. Life experiences will give me the wisdom I seek as long as I keep my eyes and ears open.

Flying is symbolic to freedom for me. Freedom from the mental ties that hinder me is how it relates. I feel tied down by thoughts and emotions. I work hard to control them, but to be free of having to control them and to be free of worry would be extraordinary.

Overall, Pegasus has many wonderful attributes to be admired and if possible to be emulated. I have the passion and motivation to be more than I am now. I love who I am and I only wish to improve upon who I already am.

Fallacy of Feeling Trapped with No Way Out

Write or Die Wednesdays picture prompt interpretation:

In this image, I can see myself with violently rushing water above me and the same vicious water racing beneath me. There is a difficult storm of a situation all around me and it seems as though there is no way out.

This feeling occurs in life for everyone. I feel this way from time to time and occasionally the feeling can be overwhelming which causes me to lose focus on what’s important and vital in times like those. Staying focused on the important aspects of a difficult situation will allow anyone more control over that situation.

Just because I feel trapped with no way out doesn’t mean that I am truly stuck in a rut unless I allow myself to be. There is always a solution or a way to get out of that situation. Sometimes it’s vital to have patience and wait for the storm to clear before you act. It’s possible that backtracking and choosing a different path is the only option and the way out of a dead end situation. But most of the time it’s more important to take action toward that situation despite the adversity.

In the face of perceived danger, you have to fight your way through the storm to the other side where you will realize just how strong you really are. Going through and getting past that situation will give you the confidence for the next situation which could be more difficult and overwhelming, but you are more prepared to handle it now. Having strength and perseverance will ensure that you overcome the fallacy of feeling trapped which will allow you to focus on the task at hand and deal with the troublesome situation.

When something happens in my life that starts to make me feel trapped, I force myself to be calm and take deep breathes. I try to clear my mind of that overwhelming feeling. By stopping all the numerous thoughts that rush my brain, I am able to clearly thinking about one things or aspect of the situation, at a time. Sometimes I even talk to myself in my mind which helps me stay focused and remain claim through reassuring myself.

The power of the mind can be debilitating or uplifting and I truly believe you have some control over which way your mind is influencing your life. The fact of the matter is that there is always a way out or a resolution to any difficult situation. Don’t allow your mind into tricking yourself that you are trapped, because if you can overcome the feeling of being trapped, you will have a great deal of more strength to be able to face the situation.

Nothing in life is truly impossible. Sometimes it just takes a different way of looking at the situation. The fallacy of feeling trapped can be a powerful influence on your decision making abilities and can cause the situation to be more difficult than it really is. The most important thing to remember from this post is that there is always a solution and all you need to do is find it. By getting rid of the false feeling of being trapped, anyone will have the strength and courage to overcome any struggle they face.

Write or Die Wednesdays

Monday, October 5, 2015

Haiku Horizons: 3 Different Storms

Haiku Horizons prompt "storm":

Hail and rain down pour

Gloomy as ever before

Hear the thunder roar

Sleet and drizzle falls

Icy cold wind assaults me

Snow piles up outside

Destruction is here

Gusts blow fiercely around me

Tornado touch down

Thanks for reading! 

Inspired by the prompt at

Monday, September 14, 2015

A Letter to the Younger Me

I have written a letter to the younger me once before and it can be found at this link here. I have decided to write myself again. I find that this writing exercise can be very empowering and helps to process the things learned over the years. Memories are wonderful things, because they are yours alone and no one can take a memory away from you.

Dear Emily Rose at 17,

Not everything in life will be enjoyable. There will be tough situations thrown at you that will require you to control your emotions and think with a clear head. In order to make progress and move forward in your life, it would be beneficial for you to learn how to control your emotions sooner rather than later. This skill is very valuable for you and I want you to be more comfortable in your own skin. When you finally learn about how to control your thoughts, controlling your emotions will become easier. Don’t give up on yourself and stay focused on your goals. I know you can overcome anything life throws at you, because I know how strong you are and how much you have overcome already.

Some things will happen in life that nothing I could say to you would prepare you for. I would like to warn you not to explode your emotions on everyone else when something bad does happen. You may very well push away the one person who has always been there for you. I just want you to think about your actions and words before they happen to cause damage to the rest of your life.

As time goes on, so does life. Things will happen in life that you cannot control and although you would like to be able to control everything, it would be best to learn how to let some things go. The past is gone and dwelling over what you should’ve done differently will not change what has already happened. Instead, I want you to try your best to learn from those situations. You will see that everything happens for a reason and although you may not understand the reason at first, have faith that in the end everything will work out for the best.

A very important thing to remember is that not everything in your life will be difficult or unpleasant. There will be great times with fantastic people who enlighten your mind and warm your heart. I wish more than anything that you would spend more time appreciating the enjoyable and less time worrying or dwelling. The more time you spend being grateful the better you will feel inside. There are many reasons for you to smile. You just need to open your eyes and see how beautiful your life can be.

I need you to know you have potential and will accomplish the things you set your mind to. I am very proud of your achievements in college and how you managed to graduate with your bachelor’s degree. Yes it may take you longer than you had planned, but nothing in life will always go the way you had planned. Remaining flexible and being able to adjust for life’s unexpected events will ensure that you continue to succeed in your life. You have what you need to succeed inside yourself. You just need to look deep inside and you will see it.

You are going to be a beautiful woman with many opportunities in life. Make sure you are present in your own life that you recognize the great opportunities offered to you. Daydreaming is fun; I’ll give you that, but don’t do it so much that you miss out on everything going on around you. At the same time, do give yourself a break at times and forgive yourself, because everyone makes mistakes. Just be sure to learn from your mistakes.

I know 10 years may seem like a long time for you at this age, but in reality those 10 years will go by quicker than you expect them to. You will have a daughter who depends on you to help her grow up and be an adult on day. Don’t let the precious moments slip away. Make sure to enjoy the little things, because once they are gone, they won’t seem so little any more. Love your life, because it’s the only one you will have. Make the most of each day and don’t let a day go by that you aren’t loving life. Even when it’s hard, life is still beautiful.

Most of all remember to be there for yourself, even when you feel like no one else is.

Love forever,
Yourself at 27  

Thursday, September 10, 2015

My 7 year old Daughter's Grief

My daughter was 6 years old when my mom passed on. My daughter is now 7 and it has been 6 months since that time. In March of this year, my mom committed suicide and to me this means she ended her life by her own means and in her own time frame. She took the ultimate control over her life and ended it. It’s hard when I think about the effect her decision has on my daughter, her granddaughter. Although my daughter has some experiences with death and she does understand that when someone dies she can never see or talk to them again. Understanding why is a completely different question. But honestly who at any age completely understands why.

My daughter doesn’t know that my mom took her own life, but she does know that grandma was sick for a very long time and passed away. She was so sad when I told her and she hasn’t stopped asking about her grandma. She asks to go see her and she knows that means at the cemetery, but to her it doesn’t matter; she just wants to see her grandma.

This is only the second death experience that she has had. The first was my dad’s mom when my daughter was 4-5 years old. When this happened my daughter went through a phase worrying about if I was going to die. She kept telling me that she didn’t want me to die. I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t dying and that sometimes things happen in our life that we just can’t control. I know these ideas were complex for her to understand at that age, but I tried to comfort her, the best I could and I know that knowledge can be comforting.

Now that death has happened again to her and she was very close to my mom, I worry about the effect all this has on her. She has been acting more down and sad since my mom died, but she is only 7 and I wonder if she is feeling similar to how I feel and I hope not. I still struggle with sad thoughts and I can’t stop myself from crying sometimes. My daughter has broken out into tears randomly a few times over the past few months and when I ask her what’s wrong, she always tells me she misses her grandma Nana very much. The time between these crying spells has gotten longer and this makes me feel like she is starting to handle her grief better.

I have never gotten upset with my daughter for crying like she does. I wish I had the right words to comfort my little girl during this tragic experience. I tell her I love her and I hold her. I let her know that it’s okay to cry, but that it is important to remember the good times as well as smile at those good times. I reassure her that I love her and am here for her. I let her talk about what she is thinking and I answer any questions she has to the best of my ability and for her maturity level.

For the past few months I have had her in therapy on a weekly basis. Although I have a bachelor’s in Psychology and I am not completely lost when it comes to helping my daughter, I am not ashamed to ask for help since she is only 7 years old and child psychology is not my specialty. I believe therapy is helping her by playing and drawing or painting with the therapist she gets out how she is feeling and works through those feelings.

She continues to miss her grandma and I am sure she always will. I know I always will. Life is hard sometimes and this may well be the hardest situation I have had to cope with my entire life thus far. I wonder if my daughter will struggle with this as hard as I have. I love my daughter with all my heart and it hurts me deeply to see her get so upset. She seems to be doing better though and I think with time she will just fine.